Let's Talk About Sex Baby
Sex... it got me in this position in the first place and you can’t have a baby without it! So why still a taboo talking about it? Well that won’t stop me. Surely I am not the only pregnant woman wondering if sex would ever be the same again after having a baby, especially when you have heard phrases like “she’s a big as a bucket” or have seen the circumference of your baby’s head increase in size with every scan, wondering how it’s going to fit through your pristine vagina.
But it’s not just the after sex that has had me thinking. When you start reading into pregnancy most articles will tell you that usually (although we are all different) your sex drive will really take a nose dive until the third trimester. Well, my hormones went mental first trimester, I was as horny as a young buck which lasted well into my sixteenth week then just stopped. Unfortunately for me my dear other half was not up for anything. It just clashed with him being shattered and stressed with work and finding out we was having a little one didn’t really turn him on. He’s not squeamish, he wasn’t one of those guys who didn’t want to ‘touch the baby’, he just had zero drive: so here I was, practically sticking my butt in his face like a bitch on heat and I wasn’t getting anywhere.
On my seventeenth week we went on our babymoon: this was around the time I realised this bump was getting starting to show. My boobs were killing me and I felt as heavy as a hippo – this lead to a massive drop in self-confidence and I could barely undress in front of him let alone get it on. I think the last straw was when we got frisky at the beginning of the week and after a good go at missionary I started to have a panic and declared “oh my god, we’ve squashed the baby”: queue crying for half hour and a tight shoulder hug from my bewildered OH, who was trying to reassure me as much as he could but it took a good night’s sleep and feeling little bubbles of kicks the next morning to finally make me feel ok and know that he hadn’t actually squashed the little peanut.
I am well into the last stretch now and I’ve been waiting for these magical horny hormones to come back in with a bang (literally)…. but alas it hasn’t happened yet. Its bloody uncomfortable. All I keep thinking of is him trying to get his arms around me and this huge bump… it doesn’t exactly fill my mind with sexy thoughts and the idea of hauling myself on top and squashing the poor lad brings tears to my eyes. Don’t even mention doggy!
There is a multitude of women who feel sexy when they are pregnant but not me, not I. This makes me a little sad knowing that sex when baby is born may not be the same so maybe that’s putting me under pressure. I feel a little pants that I have put myself under (my own) pressure to keep OH satisfied telling him to not bother with me and make sure he’s serviced until I feel confident enough to do it again.
It would be great to find out about what sex is like post-birth – for now I’ll get back to the unlimited pelvic floor excises I can do, in the hopes that sex might return to its former glory.
Picture by Kos og kaos