Dear Mums, You’re Doing A Great Job.
So today’s post is a bit different, I'm having a whinge. I’m so tired of all the things I see on social media criticising mums, it’s not even just social media, it’s everywhere, it’s us. The other mothers, women, human beings, men too. It is in our nature, but what is wrong with us all? We beat up a mum if she feeds with a bottle, we curse and humiliate a mum if she breastfeeds in the middle of a restaurant while you enjoy your undisturbed lunch, and she struggles one handed to feed herself a partially hot meal. Then we scowl at mums for their choice of baby carrying device! You had a C-Section, that doesn’t count as birthing a baby, because you didn’t actually push it from your vagina! Yes, I just used the word vagina.
We need to support one another. Maybe the simple words, 'you’re doing a great job' would give that other women the motivation to cope with one hours sleep or the teething baby that won’t stop screaming. We have to stop the constant criticising, don’t we judge ourselves, and put ourselves down enough without having other people add to the list? For example; I’m annoyed at myself today because it’s 3.30pm, Tyler is due home from school any minute, William has been ill and clingy all day and I had planned to bake some cookies, ginger bread men or maybe some scrumptious mince pies. I haven’t because William has needed me to soothe him, get him juice, snacks, put Paw Patrol on, clean up after him….. (The list goes on!). So I feel like the laziest person alive right now. About all I’ll accomplish tonight is to cook my family dinner. But do you know what, that’s OK.
We should be lifting each other up, helping each other, fighting in each other’s corner.
One thing that so many women are unnecessarily brutal over is how we feed our babies. Constantly verbally bashing, beating each other up, and judging someone for their choices. Do those choices affect you? No they don’t. Do they affect your child? No they don’t. Is it any of your business? To be quite frank no it’s not!
You don’t know why they chose to formula feed, you don’t know if they even tried to breastfeed, what’s important is that baby is fed. How many kids in this world go hungry? And your worrying about the fact a women brought her powdered milk instead of serving their baby with ready to go milk from her breast?
Do we forget no matter what method we use to feed our babies that it’s damn hard work?
With breast feeding we face challenges like cluster feeds, difficulty latching on, thinking you can finally go shower and then the baby wants feeding again. There is no pattern it’s all on demand. With bottle feeding you actually have to leave your bed, go down to your kitchen, function a microwave at 3am, count out the scoops and then if the bottle is too warm, cool it while you soothe your baby.
I plan to share my feeding experiences in the future before baby number three arrives, I have shared my experiences before on my you-tube channel, however I don’t think I’ve ever really sat and written about each experience. Seeing so much hate towards one another has really made me think that I have to share my experience, it’s nothing special or unique I imagine but with the amount of judgement passed, I hope that even one woman reading it will feel a little bit better about her choices.
Written By Sara Miller