All in Baby Blogger Pinky & Pug

Mummy Mantras

Sometimes motherhood can test your patience, and push your frustration levels to their absolute limits. During these moments I rely on my ‘Mummy Mantras’- things I can say to myself to ease the burden, and remind me that it won’t always be this way. If you’re having one of those days (or nights), stay strong and I hope these help in some small way.

Why ‘SHOULD’ Is Ruining Motherhood

It feels like you can’t do anything in motherhood without everyone else giving their opinion. Sometimes it’s well-meaning friends and family telling you how they did it, implying that you should do the same. Often it’s those friends who don’t have children yet, who think they understand (don’t judge them too harshly, we’ve all been there – we were all perfect parents until the babies arrived!) And sometimes it’s random people in the street who feel that it’s their place to tell you what you should be doing. Even when these people aren’t actually saying it out loud, or to your face, you can still feel the judgement.

A List of Things I Proudly Declared BC…

I used to spend hours thinking, plotting and watching. I would watch others parent their children and think how I would do it differently. I observed as people’s toddlers had tantrums, the arched back laying on the floor type, and smugly think how my child would never do that. I would be calm, collected and take motherhood in my stride. Ha… I declared all this to my friends and family who already had children. They all nodded and smiled. Bless you all for being encouraging, you must have wanted to scratch my eyes out.

So here is what my confident and cocky list looked like…

Returning To Work Or Not?

When I was a teenager, with the big wide world laying humbly at my feet, I made the decision that I wanted to be a mum who stayed at home. I wanted to read to my children, bake cakes with them, mop up tears and stick patterned plasters on grazed knees all day long. I remember exactly where I was when I made this decision. I was sat on a wooden stall in the food tech room during GCSE Child Development. I was interested in the mental health and behavioural needs of young children. And so, in my adolescent righteous way, I decided that in order to raise a generation of well balanced, well behaved children mummies should stay at home and I was going to be one of them. I left school and went on to study Psychology at University. My first job after graduating was in a primary school as a Behaviour Support Assistant and Nurture Group leader. This inspired me to train to be a Child Psychotherapist. I then set up my own business and provided Therapeutic Services to local schools. I was passionate and was preaching a strong message. And then the time came for me to have my own child, to prove my theories right and to be that yummy mummy. My ‘universal truth’ was that children needed a loving available mummy who was at home with them.

To Live Life Like A Toddler

If you went to work and acted like your toddler, how quickly do you reckon you'd be fired?! First of all you wouldn't arrive appropriately dressed - your outfit would be a mix of PJs, wellies and fancy dress. Next you'd cry at someone to get you a drink. But only in a specific cup that you refuse to communicate with them. When they eventually got it in the right cup and placed it right in front of you expecting a moment's peace you'd then decide you need a snack with it. A biscuit. A chocolate one. Right now.

Advice To My New Mum Friend

I was at my antinatal class last night and we were talking about any worries or questions around giving birth, and one mum-to-be said that she was more concerned about what to do with the baby once it arrived! And that got me thinking; what would I honestly say to any friends setting out on this crazy journey of motherhood.

1. Firstly, you will get A LOT of ‘advice’ and opinions from others. Some will be decent stuff you can use, lots will be complete toss. Some will come from friends and family and much will come from people on the street, the checkout lady, old Mrs Whatsherface down the road. And a lot of this advice you will not have asked for! At first I found this hard, and with every new piece of advice I spend ages reevaluating how I was parenting, and thinking I should be doing x, y or z. But I’ve since learnt that everyone parents differently, and just because it worked for your mum, or your best friend, or some know-it-all on net mums, it doesn’t mean it will work for you and that you need to try it.

Baby Essentials, Extras & Useless Crap

When you are pregnant for the first time, there is an overwhelming list of endless products that you simply ‘must have’ if you are to survive parenthood.  Some of these are really essential, but many are at best personal preference, and at worst just clever marketing ploys.  Second time around I’m treating myself to a few extras that I didn’t have last time, that I wish I had – and like the true hoarder I am (sorry dear husband), I’ve kept everything from the first time anyway, so our house now resembles Mothercare.

All Hail The NCT Friends

The NCT group… It’s a cliche isn’t it?!!

BC I was apprehensive about joining such a group. I didn’t want to be part of a clique who just met to discuss and compare and, let’s be honest, show off, about which baby is doing what first. I imagined a group of middle class women kitted out in Joules scarves with mini mes at their feet. This is the NCT group we all think of right? Truth is though these women saved me from insanity in those early few months. They aren’t kitted out in Joules attire. They are my friends and I love them.